My view of Love has been distorted...

Love - the Bible lists it as the greatest of the three that remain in the end.

Love - is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is slow to anger, keeps no record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, does not delight in evil, always... always... always... always... protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres; it never fails - according to 1st Corinthians 13:4-8.

So, with that said, let me explain how my view of love got distorted. I'm not one to accuse society for the things that I have allowed to happen in my life. Somewhere along my journey, I started to view love as simply everything being happy and grand and nothing going wrong. I feel like that has been exacerbated by the things I have seen in the media in the last few months. People have been debating what love is and what love is not. In thinking through this today, I realized that I have allowed my view of love to become distorted.  I have taken times of heartache, disappointment, correction, and discipline in my life - you know, the not-so-fun things that happen - and I have placed on them an idea that they cannot be love because they don't feel good.

I don't really know where all this comes from because I have learned, and as my parents told me growing up, "I discipline because I love you. One day you'll understand how hard it is." That is a true statement. It is hard to discipline kids because as parents we want to pour out all of our love simply to make our kids happy. But does it show our kids love to let them always eat junk food because they want to, or to play in the snow with no shoes or socks because they think it would be fun, or to eat that food off the side walk because it looks tasty...? No, (that's the answer you're searching for) that isn't love. We are willing to sacrifice that moment of bliss for their protection. We are willing to endure the pain of tears and screams that we know will come from our decision. Why?

Love.

I firmly believe the statements at the top of this post are very true about love, but I also have started to regain sight of some of the other aspects of love - aspects that Jesus displayed. Discipline and correction, as well as comfort and a shoulder when things aren't going great or when disaster comes in life. Love is speaking truth and life into the lives of the people around us even when we know it is a hard thing to say and could have a negative impact on our friends' views of us...

That being said, I have also recently seen some things that are absolutely not love, but wearing a "Love Colored Cloak" (I just made that up, you are free to use it if you'd like). And please, Christians, hear this!

Love does not allow us to judge others: this is not a simple suggestion. We have been judging others for far too long and it has to stop. Where would you be if Jesus judged you like you judge people around you? This also means we have to cut out the statement, "Let me tell you what ____ did, you know, so you can pray for them..."

Love does not allow us to oppress others: again, oppression is a tool of the weak and fearful, and we are told in 2 Timothy 1:7 that we have not been given a spirit of fear and timidity, but a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. Let that soak in for a minute... Because we have been given a spirit of Love, we have no need for the tools of fear. So show a little love and treat people with some much deserved dignity... ALL people.

Basically, what I am getting at is that we have to LOVE more. Let LOVE be our guide, and let us live knowing that others can see Jesus in the way we LOVE. The way we LOVE our own families, the way we LOVE other Christians, and especially the way we LOVE the world around us.

That is all...

A New Year, A New Word: OneWord 2013

It's a new year, time for a new word for the year... This year's word comes courtesy of my wife - know that I love her dearly and I believe she loves me with all her heart as well.

So why the build-up to something that can't possibly be that bad? Well, here is the word for the year:

DISCIPLINE

Check out this article about Discipline

This came from some conversations she and I had been having, topped off by a nudging from God. This came from us having many conversations about the current state of our lives and what we believe God has called us into. Financially, Spiritually, Socially, and so many other aspects of our lives require great discipline.

But discipline is not easy. In fact, it's downright hard most of the time. Discipline means not doing things that you want to do (like passing up that extra piece of cake) or doing things that you don't want to do (like waking up at 5:30 to get some quality time with God). Discipline also means sticking to what you are doing, even when it gets tiring or seems to be unproductive.

I am convinced that practicing discipline is an art that is falling by the wayside quickly, because in today's age the mentality is "if it's not easy people don't do it". I am also convinced that the practice of being disciplined is what allows people to be successful and in some cases really contributes to the overall happiness and well-being of an individual.

It is for those last reasons that I am very excited about working towards discipline and navigating through what it means for me to be disciplined. I know that God has great things in store for us in this year, and I know that they will not always come to us easily, but I know they will be worth all of the work. (I may need you to remind me of this in the future)

Question: Do you have a word or resolution that you are trying to live by this year?

2012 Recap

With this being the last day of the year, I figured it would be a good idea to recap 2012. So here is a little of what 2012 had in store for the Reeds:

 - OneWord: Freedom - Freedom has been my theme word for the year, and I have seen that manifest itself in so many ways. God has shown me that true freedom comes in Him alone and through that I have seen the different things that I have tied myself to...things that are not all bad - like working hard, trying to be successful, family, friends, etc... I have also seen that I tend to tie myself to things that aren't so good for me. Things like bitterness, anger, jealousy, and pride. What 2012 did not bring, in regards to freedom, is freedom from having to work to improve myself. Actually, the one other thing I learned is that freedom actually comes from hard work and doing hard things.

 - Giving stuff away: Many of you may know that Aimee and I embarked on an adventure to give away/get rid of one thing a day for the last year. How have we done? Well, there were times when we got behind and had to catch-up but we've done it!!!Some days were easier than others, and some days were a very difficult challenge. One thing that has caught me off guard, however, is how much stuff we still have after getting rid of 732 items (this was a leap year). It really has shown me how much stuff can just take over our world...

 - Spare Change: This year, as a family, we decided to collect all the spare change we found and at the end of the year we would give it to a charity of some kind. Well, we have collected $11.36, which might not seem like much, but it was money that had no purpose... As for the charity, that is undecided and we are open to suggestion. We just decided that this was money that we were not using and that we didn't have so we should do something good with it. More to come on this one...

 - We moved: That's right - if you didn't know, we moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I got a job offer that I could not turn down to improve the quality of life for me, my wife and kids, so we had to make a hard decision. While it has been very difficult leaving Mississippi and family and friends we love dearly, we know that this is the path that God has us on.

 - I became an Uncle!!!: Yep, my brother David and his wife Erica had a beautiful baby boy named Levi. This one, we weren't sure would happen in 2012, but Levi is now 2 days old! It is a very exciting time for all of us, but especially for them. I am very excited to see my big brother grow into fatherhood, because I know that he will be great at it!

That is just a small recap of 2012. I hope to get a post up tomorrow about the starting of 2013. I know it will be an exciting year.

QUESTION: What is one of your top memories from 2012?

I know its Saturday, but here's my latest Friday High Five: Blogging

  It has been a long time since I have put anything up. For me, it has felt like way too long, for many of you, it may have felt like it hasn't been long enough and you enjoyed the break you got. Well, I hope to be ending that break, but let me give you a little background, in case you may have not heard.

My family and I recently moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I received a job offer here that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. It was very clearly, to me and Aimee, an opportunity that God wanted us to take advantage of. So we did. With a lot of anxiousness, excitement, nervousness, uncertainty, and tears (of both sorrow and joy) we headed out on the last day of September. We left behind many amazing friends and family members in order to go out on an adventure for dependence on God, which is the biggest reason why we believe that God wanted us to take advantage of this opportunity. We had built up a level of comfort and what we considered fail-safes in our life, and God was slowly being worked out of a lot of our equations. Not to say that we were believing less in God, because His messages were still very real to us; we were relying on Him less, which is not where we wanted to be.

To give you a little perspective of our move - On September 1st we had no idea that we would be moving, so to be leaving Olive Branch, MS on September 30th was somewhat of a big deal for us.

With all that said, you may ask, "How does that tie in to blogging being today's Friday High Five?" That's an excellent question, and here is the answer... Normalcy... Before we moved I was attempting to blog every Friday and Saturday, so blogging became somewhat consistent and normal for me. And what I have learned in this move and the past few months is that consistency helps to keep you grounded in what is important.

When major life changes come our way, it is very easy to throw off our consistent behaviors for the sake of adapting to the change. That is not always a bad thing, but it is also not always a good thing. It could be that those consistent behaviors are things that you have wanted/needed to throw off for a long time, but it could also be that maybe those consistent behaviors have been things that keep you level or provide peace in the midst of life's chaos.

For me, the latter is true with blogging. It give me an outlet to share and express what I am feeling/learning/and going through. It helps me get re-centered, and as is the case with this particular segment of the blog, allows me to focus on some of the more positive things in life.

This move has been challenging in many different ways, but I believe that some consistency is on the way and that these challenges are allowing me to become a stronger and better man. It has shown me that I have to get back in touch with several of my consistent behaviors that so easily fell to the way-side in the midst of life's chaos.

question: Do you have a consistent behavior that provides peace/calm/refocus that you would like to share?

Friday High Five: Ted Dekker

Today's Friday High Five goes to my favorite author: Ted Dekker. He writes mostly mystery, thriller, and supernatural suspense novels with a faith based background.

I know, from that description, he may not sound like the type of author you might like to read, but unlike the stereotypical Christian authors, he writes books that are gripping, exciting, and not terribly cheesy.

His most popular series of novels is the "Circle Series," which includes the books: Black, Red, White, and Green. This series is a reflection of God's love for us, and is told a in way that brought me to tears. This series is also a trunk of sorts that many of Dekker's other novels have branched off of, most notably, the Paradise novels.

Dekker was even able to lure me into a realm of books that I had vowed not to enter - the realm of "Vampire Romances." With his novel, Immanuel's Veins, Dekker creates a historical world with vampires and fantastic romance that becomes one of his best stories.

His newest three novel series, the Books of Mortals, is being written with Tosca Lee, and currently has two of the three books out (Forbidden, Mortal).  These books reach into the idea of a post apocalyptic world where people aren't allowed to be fully human... 

The reason I chose Dekker for this week is because I am currently reading his novel The Priest's Graveyard, in which a priest brings judgment to people who he deems deserving and the "system" has not been able to catch. This novel contains, as many of his others do, psychological issues that force the reader to go deeper into the minds of his characters, and engage them on issues that so many people face.

Maybe these thriller novels aren't your thing, or maybe you have been weary of delving into the thriller/mystery genre for fear of too much inappropriate language, then I would encourage you to give Dekker a read. After all, my wife even gets sucked into the relationships and plot development, even though thrillers are not her books of choice most often.

Who is your favorite author? What would you recommend we read?

I'm the exception to the rule... OR... For me 2+2=3

Recently I was having a conversation with my wife about some events that had been happening in our lives, how we had reacted and the feelings we had in regard to these events. One of the feelings that surfaced for me was guilt, so we talked about that for a little while.

I often experience some form of guilt on one level or another, and all too often it revolves around my past. I know that, as a believer, God says that He has washed me as white as snow, that He no longer sees my sin, and that I am completely loved by Him, but that doesn't seem to stop my past sin from creeping into my mind and trying to mess things up.

You see, the Bible talks about forgiveness all throughout, but when I sit down and really think about my life, I think, "I know God forgives those people, but with the mess I have made of my life, He doesn't forgive me. There is no way that He could..." In that statement, I am attempting to make myself the exception to God's rule of forgiveness, when the truth is that I am covered by just as much grace and mercy as anyone else.

I think of it like this. In math class, one of the first things you ever learn is that 2+2=4. It's the same for everyone everywhere. 2+2 will always equal 4, except for with me. With me, something is wrong with one of my 2's and I just don't quite have it right. For me, 2+2=3 every time, and every time I get the problem wrong. When I get the problem wrong, I feel dumb and get down on myself because I can't seem to get it right. So I go and I practice. I count fingers, hold 2 fingers up on each hand and count them. There are 4 fingers. Set out some money, and have 2 groups of 2 dimes, count them. There are 4 dimes. So now I've got it, right? I go to the test again, and there it is staring at me... 2+2+___ and what do I put in the blank...? That's right - I answer boldly and proudly with a huge 3. Why? Because it seems to me that it's different for me, that it's something that I just don't get to have right in my life.

That's how I often think of the grace of God. I get jealous, because other people get to experience it, but I can't. It's something I just don't get to have in my life... I am the exception to God's rule of grace...

So as I was telling this to Aimee, she expressed that she felt that way in a different area of life. I tried to convince her that she was wrong - there is enough of God to go around... That was when my hypocrisy dawned on me. It wasn't ok for others to think that God couldn't take care of their problems, but it was ok for me. At that moment, God started impressing on my heart just how much He can cover and all that He has done; proving to me that even though I have a hard time grasping it, when He is in my equation, 2+2=4.

God's math is always right!

Do you ever feel like the exception to the rule?

Spiritual Saturday: Let It Grow (A Day Late)

James 1:3-4 "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you will be strong in character and ready for anything."

In this little snippet from the book of James, James tells the church outright that they will be tested. James has a habit of telling the church they will be tested, because it is true. But he also tells them to be joyful and uses moments like this to encourage them in the tests...

Here, James says that the testing the people are going through and will go through is used to develop their endurance, and that endurance, as it develops, increases their character and prepares them for all that the world will bring to them.

Basically, to me, what he is saying is that as we go through challenges and come out on the other side stronger than we were before. It allows us to know that we can make it through the next challenge and helps reduce some of our fears, because God has helped us through the previous challenges. That doesn't mean the next challenge is easier. In fact, sometimes the opposite is true...

It's like running, or what I assume running is like since I don't really run, but I guess exercising in general. When you train, you build your body's endurance, but if you keep doing just the same training over and over you won't really get any stronger or better. You have to push your body to that next level. And when you start training to at the next level, it hurts, but the payoff is, apparently, worth it.

If God wants to see our endurance grow, then we need to step back and take a look at the testing that is happening in our lives. How are we handling it? What does it look like for us to be going through what we are going through? How is the best way to handle this? What is God trying to teach us?

I am really putting this out there as much for me as I am for many of you. I often pray that God will help me to grow closer to Him, and He gives me opportunities. Often those opportunities come through the tests and challenges of this life. I heard a long time ago, "Be careful when you pray for patience, because you'll get the chance to use it." And I thought that was a cute and funny little anecdote with plenty of truth behind it. As I have gotten older and experienced more, I have also learned that when you pray for anything that has to do with spiritual growth, like grace, peace, closeness to God, or endurance, be prepared for the tests that will come along and the training that it takes to be a "world class athlete" in these areas.

After all, God wants us to be the best!